

Peter Kuper
Kuper illustrates SPY vs. SPY for MAD magazine. He has adapted versions of Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis and Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle.
You’ve heard the old family legend for years now – that your great-great uncle Hiram found a cache of lost Spanish gold somewhere in the high desert outside of what’s now Palm Springs, California. Rumor has it that he even drew a map before he died in tragic Model T accident. To you, it’s always just been a silly bedtime story your dear Grandma told you before bed…
There’s nothing worse than having to spend your weekend working – and the fact you have to spend it cleaning out your recently-departed Grandma’s attic is just adding insult to injury! As you heave a bundle of bundle of Life magazines in the recycling bins, you notice a strange piece of paper drift down to the ground. You pick it up to throw it away, you notice a crude map drawn on it…and it’s got the name “Hiram” written in the corner. That old family legend you sneered at might actually be true! You run to show it to your older brother Jay who’s visiting home from college.
“Yo! Grannie’s old stories are true, kiddo!” Jay exclaims with bulging eyes. “Hey, I have an idea: let’s ask Mom and Dad to let us visit Aunt Nancy out in San Diego in a few weeks….then you and I will go out and find that gold on our own!”
“That’s pretty risky, Jay” you reply. “Mom, Dad, or Aunt Nancy will never let us search for gold on our own.”
“That’s why we’re not gonna tell ‘em, squirt!” Jay
replies, chuckling. “Let’s surprise ‘em with a whole
bunch of doubloons!”
----
A few weeks have come and gone, and Jay and yourself are at your aunt’s house in San Diego. Under the pretext of having a “siblings-only” camping trip in the high desert, Jay has been able borrow your Aunt’s old Jeep and some camping supplies. You wave goodbye to your Aunt, buy some shovels and canteens at a hardware store, then head out for the desert. You set up camp near to where the map claims the gold is buried and go to sleep.
The next morning, you and Jay review the map for the best way to find the gold. According to the map, the hidden gold is buried next to a boulder marked with cross - and you can get to this boulder by either hiking over some small hills, or traveling down a dry riverbed for a few miles.